Let me start up with a story about fear.

There was once a town where the thing everyone feared the most was getting lost at night in the “Cave of Fear”. No one had ever returned from there, and whenever anyone got lost and ended up there,the last that was heard was a great cry of terror, followed by a few enormous guffaws. The townsfolk lived in terror that one day the monster would leave the cave. So they regularly left gifts and food at the mouth of the cave, and these always soon disappeared.

One day, a young man came to town, and, as he heard about the situation with the cave, he thought that it was unfair. So he decided to enter the cave and confront the monster. The young man asked for some help, but everyone was so afraid that not a single person approached the mouth of the cave with him. He went inside, finding his way with a torch, and calling out to the monster, wanting to talk with it and discuss the situation. At first, the monster had a good long laugh, and the young man followed the sound of the monster’s voice. But then the monster went quiet, and the young man had to carry on, not knowing in which direction to go.

Finally he arrived at a huge cavern. At the bottom of the cavern he thought he could make out the figure of the monster, and as he approached it, he felt that something hit him hard on his back. This pushed him forward towards a hole in the rock. He couldn’t avoid it, and fell through. Believing that he was about to die, he let out one last cry. Then he heard the great guffaws.

-“Darn it, I think the monster has swallowed me,”

he said, whilst falling.

However, as he fell, he heard music, and voices. They got clearer, and when he made a soft landing at the bottom, he heard a group of people shout:

-“Surprise!!”

Hardly believing it,he found himself right in the middle of a big party. The partygoers were all those people who had never returned to the town. They explained to him that this place had been the idea of an old mayor of the town. That mayor had tried to accomplish great things, but was always held back by the fears of the people around him. So the mayor invented the story of the monster to demonstrate to people how such an attitude was so limiting. So the young man stayed there, enjoying the party and the company of all those who had dared to approach the cave.

And what about the town? In the town they still believe that to enter the Cave of Fear is the worst of all punishments…

Each time I meet a client that has fear and anxiety, I usually come up with this story and there is a second story I love to tell when I realize that the fear is too much to handle which I will also tell you the second story.

You know what it’s like to be afraid of something, whether it be thunderstorms, a trip to the dentist, a stranger at your door, or losing someone dear to you. Fear is a normal reaction that warns our bodies to be careful. Anxiety is a type of fear, dealing more with worry and the future, rather than fearing something that is present.

When fear and anxiety become a pattern in our lives, they become a problem. If your plugged drain in the kitchen sink is a problem, do you ignore it? Of course not. You call a plumber or try to fix it yourself. When fearfulness causes harm to your physical and mental stability, and you find yourself avoiding things that might create more fear, don’t ignore it. When anxiety becomes a debilitating thing that leaves you cowering and sick, don’t try to push it away.

It is human nature to avoid emotions that scare us.  Who wants to walk directly into what promises to be a painful experience? Except that by continually avoiding looking at the ‘boogeyman’ within, you become hostage to the monster. Typically this involves hiding from any potential stressor that might cause upset and engaging in endless distractions. Alas you are also hiding from potential challenges that can lead to growth and joy. Plus, you can’t hide forever from fear. It’s going to strike, despite your best efforts to suppress it. And it is likely that it will strike at a time when you most need emotional equanimity.

The good news is that once you face your fear—and give the boogeyman air—rather than shove it into a distant compartment of your brain, it begins losing the ability to rule you and dictate your decisions.

What scares you? Learning how to overcome fears of failure can be challenging for everyone.

Fortunately, all fears are learned. No one is born with fears. Fears can therefore, be unlearned by practicing self-discipline repeatedly with regard to fear until it goes away.

The most common fears that we experience, which often sabotage all hope for success, are the fear of failure, poverty, and loss of money.

These fears cause people to avoid risk of any kind and to reject opportunity when it is presented to them. They are so afraid of failure that they are almost paralyzed when it comes to taking any chances at all.

There are many other fears that interfere with our happiness.

• People fear the loss of love or
• People fear the loss of their jobs and their financial security.
• People fear embarrassment or ridicule.
• People fear rejection and criticism of any kind.
• People fear the loss of respect or esteem of others.

These and many other fears hold us back throughout life…

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions after anger as I mentioned earlier. It has a very strong effect on your mind and body.

Fear can create strong signals of response when we’re in emergencies – for instance, if we are caught in a fire or are being attacked.

It can also take effect when you’re faced with non-dangerous events, like exams, public speaking, a new job, a date, or even a party. It’s a natural response to a threat that can be either perceived or real.

……………………………………………………………………………………

When I traveled from Asaba to my state (Akwa ibom) I was very hungry so when we got to the park, I took a taxi to Plaza that night where I can take a taxi home. Getting to plaza some boys approached me and asked me to shake their hands, I knew if I do, my pockets will get exposed so I disagreed, they threatened to attack but what saved me was anger and hunger, I was hungry and angry at the same time so I don’t know what made me challenge them in such a manner unlike me. Normally fear would have set in and I would have succumbed to them but I didn’t allow my fear to overshadow my courage. I remember telling them that they shouldn’t threaten me with dagger that they don’t know what weapon I was with. This actually put fear in their mind because they were thinking in their mind that this guy would be with a gun and the last time I checked, a gun is more dangerous than a dagger.

Anxiety is a word we use for some types of fear that are usually to do with the thought of a threat or something going wrong in the future, rather than right now.

Fear and anxiety can last for a short time and then pass, but they can also last much longer and you can get stuck with them. In some cases they can take over your life, affecting your ability to eat, sleep, concentrate, travel, enjoy life, or even leave the house or go to work or school. This can hold you back from doing things you want or need to do, and it also affects your health.

Some people become overwhelmed by fear and want to avoid situations that might make them frightened or anxious. It can be hard to break this cycle, but there are lots of ways to do it. You can learn to feel less fearful and to cope with fear so that it doesn’t stop you from living.

What makes you afraid?

Lots of things make us feel afraid. Being afraid of some things – like fires – can keep you safe. Fearing failure can make you try to do well so that you won’t fail, but it can also stop you doing well if the feeling is too strong.

What you’re afraid of and how you act when you’re afraid of something can vary per person. Just knowing what makes you afraid and why can be the first step to sorting out problems with fear.

What makes you anxious?

Because anxiety is a type of fear, the things we’ve described about fear above are also true for anxiety.

The word ‘anxiety’ tends to be used to describe worry, or when fear is nagging and persists over time. It is used when the fear is about something in the future rather than what is happening right now.

Anxiety is a word often used by health professionals when they’re describing persistent fear. The ways that you feel when you’re frightened and anxious are very similar, as the basic emotion is the same.

What do fear and anxiety feel like?

When you feel frightened or seriously anxious, your mind and body work very quickly. These are some of the things that might happen:

• Your heart beats very fast – maybe it feels irregular
• You breathe very fast
• Your muscles feel weak
• You sweat a lot
• Your stomach churns or your bowels feel loose
• You find it hard to concentrate on anything else
• You feel dizzy
• You feel frozen to the spot
• You can’t eat
• You have hot and cold sweats
• You get a dry mouth
• You get very tense muscles

These things occur because your body, sensing fear, is preparing you for an emergency, so it makes your blood flow to the muscles, increases blood sugar, and gives you the mental ability to focus on the thing that your body perceives as a threat.

With anxiety, in the longer term, you may have some of the above symptoms as well as a more nagging sense of fear, and you may get irritable, have trouble sleeping, develop headaches, or have trouble getting on with work and planning for the future; you might have problems having sex, and might lose self-confidence.

Why do I feel like this when I’m not in any real danger?

Early humans needed the fast, powerful responses that fear causes, as they were often in situations of physical danger; however, we no longer face the same threats in modern-day living.

Despite this, our minds and bodies still work in the same way as our early ancestors, and we have the same reactions to our modern worries about bills, travel and social situations. But we can’t run away from or physically attack these problems!

The physical feelings of fear can be scary in themselves – especially if you are experiencing them and you don’t know why, or if they seem out of proportion to the situation. Instead of alerting you to a danger and preparing you to respond to it, your fear or anxiety can kick in for any perceived threat, which could be imaginary or minor.

Why won’t my fear go away and leave me feeling normal again?

How can I overcome this fear?

Well, you will be able to find out all these when you get a copy of ”Enslaved To Fear”